She didn't mean anything! he said to the sky, Godalmighty, here I been hot as a hound for a week and trying to act nice to you because you are such a nice girl and then all of the sudden you egg me on.
Quote from the second page of chapter 8. Butch has just chased the girl down after she away from him tauntingly. She is trying to explain that her intentions were innocent and sorry as she was, she wouldn't lose her virginity in that field. The girl is terrified that her inexperience will scare Butch off and this sentence paints a vivid picture of the guilt Butch piles onto her fears of inadequacy.
Trying to act nice and being nice are two very different things. The word trying implies either that someone has failed or simply not yet succeeded in doing something. Use of the word act hints the behavior requires significant effort as it goes against natural inclinations. Butch is telling the girl in no uncertain terms that her actions are causing him serious discomfort. He is trying to be nice while she is purposefully being a tease, at least this is the impression Butch wants to give the girl.
In mid sentence Butch switches from yelling at God, to directly addressing the girl. He wants the girl to know that her naiveté is driving him to insanity, to the point that he would yell at the sky in the middle of a field. The exclamation point used in mid sentence after anything highlights the anger he uses to frighten the girl into submission. The combination of guilt and fear solidify Butch's hold over the girl.
Lastly Butch compares himself to a hound invoking images of canine nature. He uses the word egg to describe the girls behavior. These two images in combination allude to the stories of the fox/wolf and the chicken playing to primal ideas of predator and prey. Butch is the archetypal wolf in a sheep's fur.
I think the theme of guilt is extremely present in The Girl's decision making. While reading the first 19 chapters I kept thinking, "Does The Girl ever make decisions based solely upon her own desires? Or is she just trying to please everyone else?" She always says "I don't know," or fails to voice her opinion at all! In addition, numerous people (Butch, her mother, her father) encourage her to make decisions based on guilt.
ReplyDeleteMaybe her insecurity stems from the way her father treated her all those years. It seems as though nothing she's capable of was ever enough to please him. If she feels like a failure in the eyes of others, then naturally the only way to change their perceptions is to do what they want.
This attitude is magnified when the innocent Girl moves to the big city, because on top of her insecurities she realizes she knows nothing about city life. She clings to the words of Butch (and others) and worships them like gods.
Ironically, her self-worth comes from her relations with others, which forces her to abandon her own needs/desires in pursuit of acceptance from the outsider. The problem with that is, once she has the acceptance of others, she'll realize she's not true to herself.