goodbye

Dear Rodney,

This didn’t necessarily happen in class, but shortly prior. I
would hope that is okay for this assignment. What you said really had
nothing to do with class specifically, but I couldn’t help but relate it.
John, Christina, and I were sitting in John’s bedroom about an hour
before class. Thinking it would be just us three, John’s phone rang. It
was you. One of the first things you said when you walked in is what made
me ponder everything we’ve done, said, and learned in this literature
class. You said something along the lines of, “I know, I don’t seem
like the type of guy to do this kind of thing” (this thing being
pre-gaming before class). My first thought was “totally, I did not expect
you at all.” Then I started to consider why it did surprise me so much
that it was you. I suppose it was mostly based upon the fact that I
generally saw you as one of the more quiet people in the class. This led me
to think about everyone in the class, and the judgments I had made simply
based upon how much someone had or hadn’t talked during the class.
I guess it really made me reconsider how my views about the people
in our class changed. Not like I really ever had negative thoughts about
the people in the class, I had just created these images for each student
and noticed that at first, I had rarely let them alter.
I related this to Never Let Me Go, and the conversation our class
has had about whether or not the clones can even be considered human. After
you said “I don’t seem like the type of guy to do this thing,” I
thought about the clones. I felt deeply saddened, thinking how they had
such a specific life-plan, how they were all expected to do everything in
life extremely similarly. Regardless of those expectations, every one of
those clones had their own story. It’s so depressing to think that the
“normals” could overgeneralize, and oversimplify, the complex feelings,
experiences, relationships, etc. that each of the clones actually
possessed. It just made me find yet another somewhat hidden connection
between Never Let Me Go and reality as we know it.
What you said that night helped sum up the most important thing
that I have learned and will take away from this class: to not be afraid.
Cliché, I know, but those first few Wednesday nights I was scared out of
my mind. I felt like I was the only freshman in the class, assumed I was
probably the only one that hadn’t read a book in months, I didn’t even
know how the class was going to be run. I would sit and hope that Ben
didn’t call on me, even if I really wanted to say something. I think I
learned how to be comfortable in the class, to accept all of the
differences in the class, and embrace those differences to strengthen my
knowledge. By having a small class and being able to discuss whatever crazy
thoughts shot into our heads…I learned more than just how to analyze a
book, but how to relate with others and discuss opinions, even if they are
different. Learning to understand that everyone does have their own story
has made me more comfortable in my own skin. Along with this, I can get to
know a person more easily, rather than focusing on that outer image.
We’ve all been taught to “not stereotype,” but I think what
I’ve learned goes deeper than this. It’s recognizing that there is a
lot more to someone like you, for example, than just a quiet person
that’s in my class.

I feel extremely privileged to have shared this class with so many thoughtful, intelligent individuals.